So I am probably starting off this new section in probably the worst way ever with two very horrible movies. The first being a known tome of shit and the second just looked like it was going to spew out from Paul Walkers smirk. The movies being. Resident Evil: Afterlife 3D & Takers.
Resident Evil: Afterlife 3D
The fourth? Installment to the series is helmed by Paul W.S. Anderson who to the best of my unknown knowledge has helmed the previous 3 and if not then I am sure Uwe Boll had something to do with it. Really it seems like these two directors are just trying to make the worst movies possible. It has to be some sort of competition between the two to make any sense. Anyway, the movie opens to a bunch of Mila Jovovich attacking a underground lair. There is no explanation to why there are multiple hers. Does she have the power to replicate? I don’t know. But that power is soon gone as she gets turned back to complete human from the T-Virus. This shit. Wow. The movie ends with a cliffhanger so there will be another one of these it seems sadly. I remember hearing that this was filmed in 3D and was the first since Avatar to have the full 3D treatment. If that is true or not I do no know nor care to lookup. What I do know is that the CGI in this is so bad that no amount of cool 3D tricks will help. My advice really. Just don’t.
Grade: F
This movie was pretty sad. In many ways it was the usual fare for Paul Walker and Matt Dillon now and looked like something fun for Chris Brown to occupy his time with when not smacking bitches and throwing chairs through windows. I really just felt bad for Idris Elba. His foray into American film has not been good, This, Obsessed, & The Losers. Essentially this is a film about a group who pull heists. They take. Money. After one of their most epic heists their old running buddy T.I. gets out of jail for getting shot, although in real life it was actually weapons charges, wants to pull a huge score. Shit just goes south due to a cyclists and no ones fault but they still get the money and Chris Brown is able to outrun the cops when they ID him. It all ends up being a double cross by T.I. because you know since he produced the film he had to have the cool part where he fucks everyone over. The characters go no where unless you count death and Matt Dillon is just in it for the paycheck. Though having such a basic and bland character, too invested with nabbing than taking out his daughter for a normal day on his custody day, some actors would give the audience a little somethin’ somethin’ but not Dillon. The real pain of this film comes from Idris Elba when he has to deliver the title line used throughout all the promos. I never noticed in the trailers but when you see it you can tell he is just exhausted and gritting his teeth at the horrible line.
Grade: D-
